Think of this as the crystal ball into the brain of a woman and red flags you should be looking for in your relationship. These are 10 red flags that you should pay attention to when you’re dating a girl.
Everyone has their relationship red flags. Everyone has their deal-breakers. However, these are my 10 intense red flags that you should be paying attention to.
I want to help you guys, and I want you all to know that I am on your side. I feel like I have a good idea of when women do this. I have a ton of friends that do some of these things. I had people in my sorority that did these things. I’ve been around a lot of women my entire life. So trust me, I’ve heard it all.
The reason why I think it’s so important for all of you guys out there in relationships, even those not in relationships and just looking for a girlfriend in general, to be read a list like this is because a lot of times when we’re in relationships, we put our blinders up.
We want things to work out. We don’t want our relationship to fail. We don’t want to be sad. I’ve been there. I’ve done it. I have ignored about a million and a half red flags that had been waving in front of my face because of just simply not wanting something to fail, not wanting something to not work out.
So trust me, it’s important to pay attention to these things because most of these are patterns and behaviors that become even more intense later down the road. You’ll be questioning yourself and wondering why the heck you stayed in this relationship.
Here’s the list below.
Red flag #1 is she’s possessive and needy.
By this I mean, for example, you tell her that you’re going to hang out with your friends for the weekend and she gets mad at you because you’re hanging out with someone besides her.
It’s okay to want to be with someone and hang out with someone a lot, but when she cannot physically function without being with you, or she gets mad when you’re with someone else, it could be anyone else, not even a girl just anyone else besides her. This is a sign of possessiveness and control.
It does not get better as the relationship progresses. It probably just will get worse.
Red flag #2 is how they treat people.
When you go out to dinner, how do they treat the waitress? When you go grab a coffee, how do they treat the barista? How does she treat her family, all of these are big red flags if she’s treating them poorly, or if she’s being rude, or if she’s acting like she’s better than them.
She could be the most beautiful or hot or whatever girl in the world, and if she has an ugly personality, ditch her.
Keep in mind that how she is treating these people is probably how she’s going to treat you later on down the road when you do something that doesn’t satisfy her or isn’t up to par with her standard. So keep that in mind, too.
Red flag #3 is excessive jealousy.
A little bit of jealousy is healthy. I think it’s normal for someone to be a little bit jealous every now and then. But when it’s excessive, it becomes a problem.
For example, say something funny happened at work, and you tell your girlfriend about it, and the story just so happens to involve a girl. The second you bring up the girl, she instantly is not interested in the story. She gets mad at you. She accuses you of a lot of things – whatever it is.
If she’s getting mad for no reason, and you haven’t given her a reason to be mad over a girl, this is an issue. This signifies that she’s insecure. She’s going to be constantly paranoid. It’s going to be very unhealthy for both of you. So you’re better off just getting out of it.
As I said, a little bit of jealousy is okay. I have been jealous before. I think jealousy is something that everyone has felt at some point in their life. But there’s a very big difference between a little bit of jealousy to keep the relationship interesting and excessive jealousy.
Red flag #4 is she doesn’t say thank you.
So think about if you’ve taken her out on a few dates, you’ve paid for all of her stuff, and she did not even say thank you. If she’s not appreciative of these little things that you’re doing for her, she’s never really going to be appreciative of the big things either.
This can create a lot of resentment in a relationship, especially if you feel like you’re the one that’s always giving, always paying, and she’s giving you nothing in return.
It’s one thing if she forgets to say it once or twice, but if you’re noticing a pattern where she has kind of a princess mentality and just expects it and never says thank you, run for the hills.
Red flag #5 is no goals or hobbies.
For example, say you ask her where she pictures herself five years from now, and she can’t even formulate a thought, she can’t even tell you where she begins to see herself in a year, two years, three years, four years at all. If she is unable to talk about her future. You ask her what her hobbies are, and she says she doesn’t have any.
Shopping, by the way, is not a hobby. I like shopping. But it’s not a hobby.
This is an issue because you want to be with someone that has ambition. You want to be with someone that has goals and aspirations and things that they want to accomplish in life, especially if you’re someone that has all of these things.
It’s impossible to be with someone that doesn’t share the same interest as you. So keep that in mind as well. How are you supposed to be a power couple and build each other up if she can’t even build herself up or has any kind of goal for herself?
Red flag #6 is unrealistic communication expectations.
I’m not talking about you’ve ghosted her for a week and she’s upset with you. That is acceptable and she has every reason to be upset with you if that is the case.
I’m talking about, for example, you’re at work and you haven’t texted her back all day because you’re at work, and she’s freaking out, blowing up at you, getting mad at you for not texting her back. This is a huge red flag because she is expecting you to drop everything in your life for her to make you her entire world.
This is just an unrealistic expectation at any point in our relationship, but if you’re seeing this in the beginning, this is going to be a huge problem that continues throughout your entire relationship. So please keep this in mind.
Another scenario is maybe you’re out with your friends, and she’s expecting you to text her every five seconds. You are allowed to have a life outside of your partner. I would argue that this is one of the most important things when you’re in a relationship.
It’s okay to enjoy doing things together. It’s okay to want to be with a person and spend time with a person. Nevertheless, it’s so incredibly important to have a life and interests and goals and hobbies, and spend time apart and not spend every waking moment together doing every single thing together.
Being your own person and bringing your individuality into a relationship is what makes a relationship work.
Red flag #7 is she brings up past relationships too much.
It’s okay at the beginning of your relationship to ask each other about past relationships, and maybe why something didn’t work out. I think it’s okay to be a little bit curious about this and to wonder about the person that you’re getting to know and you with.
However, if she’s constantly bringing up her ex, unsolicited, with no context, this is an issue. She’s probably not over him. She keeps talking about him all the time. That’s kind of weird.
Also, if she’s constantly bringing up your ex and asking you questions and getting mad at you about things that you maybe did with her or people that you’ve slept with, this is a huge issue. It’s a control thing.
It’s a lack of control over what you’ve done in the past or who you’ve been with. It’s going to be something that carries on for your whole relationship. If it’s going to be 90 years old in a nursing home, she’s still going to be bringing up your ex.
So if you don’t want that to be you, don’t even put up with this kind of girl.
Red flag #8 she just got out of a relationship.
Though this doesn’t sound like it would be that bad. I know sometimes, things happen. You run into her at the train station, and it’s magical, like a movie. Sometimes, things like that just work out and it makes sense.
However, if she just got out of a relationship and you meet her on Tinder or at a bar, and she’s already seeking out another relationship, this signifies that she can’t be alone. She’s insecure with herself. She’s not independent.
She feels like she needs someone with her to be happy. This is a problem because like I mentioned earlier, it’s so important to be your own person and to bring your individuality into a relationship for it to work.
Also, the biggest red flag here is that you’re a rebound. Nobody wants to be a rebound. It just is what it is. You don’t want to be that guy. You’re going to be questioning it your whole relationship.
Red flag #9 is she has no girlfriends.
This doesn’t also sound like it would be that bad, but this signifies that she doesn’t have any committed relationship. She doesn’t have any constant relationships in her life.
I think this is important just to show that you can keep relationships for a long time. You aren’t just going through friends like hotcakes. So when a girl says she doesn’t have any girlfriends, this just shows that she can’t maintain relationships. You have to wonder why the friendships didn’t work out.
It’s like the girl that has dated a million guys and constantly talks bad about all of them and says, you know, they were just jerks, it didn’t work out. But why? Because you were the common denominator in all of it.
Also, it’s really important to have friends outside of your relationship as well. So if you’re with a girl, and she wants to spend all her time with you, she doesn’t have any friends, no girlfriends, no guy friends, just no friends in general, this is an issue because it’s so incredibly important to have other relationships outside of your romantic relationship that you’re in.
Red flag #10 is she has cheated.
This, I think is the most obvious one. Once a cheater, always a cheater. I am a firm believer in this from people that I have dated in my past. Once they cheat once, they just keep cheating because they know they can get away with it.
However, the biggest one here that I think a lot of people ignore is did she cheat with you? Was she dating a guy? Did she cheat on him with you, and now is in a relationship with you?
What happens when she gets bored? What happens when she no longer wants to be with you or she meets someone that she thinks is better than you? She’s going to do the same thing to you that she did to the last guy with you.
If anything, the fact that she’s cheated before just shows a lack of commitment, a lack of respect, and a lack of loyalty. Why would you want to date a girl like that guys? Just being 100% honest. As I said, I’m on your side. I believe in you.
If she cheats, she belongs in the streets. Kick her out. Get rid of her. You’re better than that.
That concludes my list of 10 red flags to look for in women. I hope you found this helpful. If you did, be sure to share. Also, let me know in the comments below what your personal experiences have been with red flags. If you’ve experienced anything on my list or if you think I missed anything, I would love to read about them in the comments below.