Have you ever been to a speed dating event? Well, I have and I will tell you from my experience, they are pretty damn dull and boring, going from seat to seat and having to answer the same mundane questions over and over and over again.
By the time I was in guy number three, I was in auto mode and completely tuned out. When I was speed dating, all I wished for was with a guy that didn’t ask the same mind-numbing boring questions. And truth be told, I wish the same thing on some of the things that I was on.
Now, I know it’s tough to come up with unique topics of conversation, especially when you’re in a nerve-wracking situation like a date with a girl you’re totally attracted to. Trust me, it’s hard for most women to want to keep the conversation going just as badly as guys.
If women like you, they want to deliver solid answers that make you like them fast.
The reason I brought up speed dating at the beginning of this post is that the other day, I was coaching a guy who I’ll refer to as Jake, and he and I just started working together. Jake came to me because he wanted to work on perfecting his speed dating capabilities.
He had been to three events in the past few months and trained at each of them. So for the first 10 minutes of our call, we did a mock speed dating event and I quickly saw why Jake had bombed.
The questions he was asking were generic, unexciting, and totally cliche. Where are you from? Have you ever been to a speed dating event before?
What’s wrong with the questions that Jake was asking was his delivery and responses. It’s like Jake was on auto mode and spitting out questions and responses without having any emotion attached to any of it.
I quickly told Jake that the reason he wasn’t being successful in speed dating was that:
- He wasn’t engaged.
- His questions were dull and didn’t spark a hint of excitement for women.
I wanted to change that. And I knew exactly how to do it. So after our call, I quickly pulled together a cheat sheet of awesome questions that Chris could use at his next event or even his next date.
I’m going to share 10 of my top ones here.
- Which television program would you refuse to give up for a date with me?
- What country would you most recommend that I visit? For example, after we’ve broken up and you would prefer me on the other side of the world? Where would you want me to be?
- If people were thrown in jail for bad habits, what or who would you be thrown in jail for?
- If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?
- When something cool happens in a movie? Are you one of those who clap or one of those who smile condescendingly at the clappers?
- Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you’re going to say? If yes, why?
- What would constitute a perfect day for you?
- When did you last sing to yourself or someone else?
- What would be your chosen superpower?
- Is there something that you’ve dreamt of doing for a long time? Follow up to this question is why haven’t you done it?
Some of these are a little cheesy. I know. Some of them are a little deep, but all are engaging in a way better than asking what do you do for a living?
These questions help you to get to know the other person and spark conversation.
Whether or not that woman is a match for you, she’ll still walk away saying, “Wow that guy was interesting.”
Here’s something to take note of, once you ask one of these questions and a woman responds to you, you must do the following.
- Let her know she’s been heard. For now, you can simply repeat back what she has said to you like “Really! You wish you were invisible?”
- The next thing is you then you share a little about yourself and what you thought of her response. Do not ask another question. If you ask another question immediately after hearing her response, it will suck any spark out of her.
If you follow these instructions, I promise you’ll have amazing success on dates.