In this article, I want to discuss good questions to ask early in a relationship, especially in the early stages of dating a guy. I know that navigating the relationship process, and especially those early stages, the early weeks and months of the beginning of a relationship can be complicated and confusing.
Since you’re both interested, and there’s an attraction. You’re drawn to each other, and you’re trying to figure out if it’s going to work.
You may be asking questions like “Could I see myself with this person long term? Do we vibe? What do we have in common? Do we share similar goals and visions?”
In case you’re looking for tips to take your relationship with your man to the next level, check out this post on How to Make Him Commit Without Pressure.
If you’re trying to get a man to want you back, or just trying to get a man’s attention, I also shared some tips here on How to Make Him Want You Back.
Make sure you check out those two articles, they are really helpful.
Now let’s dive into the main topic, good questions to ask in the early stages of dating a guy.
A Valuable Advice about Questions to Ask in the Early Stages of Dating a Guy
Sometimes, it can be hard to know how to navigate that. Something that someone had advised, which I find interesting. This can help in the early stages of dating a guy to take things to a deeper level.
They said, ask good questions. You know you’re going to have a lot of conversations. You’re going to be talking a lot and spending a great deal of time together.
Those questions and that conversation can either stay kind of surface. Alternatively, you can both be intentional to ask questions that will take deeper dives.
Questions that will explore more about who the other person is, where they’ve been, what they’ve learned from their past experiences, and ultimately, what has led them to be the person that they are today.
That advice was so good, and it took me on this journey of research in trying to know the good questions to ask in the early stages of dating a guy.
The Result of that Advice
Honestly, I wasn’t sure. I could think of some, but I knew there were a lot more. So I studied and researched and found a lot of good questions from great resources, both online and offline.
I’m glad to share these questions with you. I hope it will help you take the relationship to a deeper level.
So deep that you can truly get to know the genuine, authentic guy, and who he is. As you ask these questions and dive deeper into your relationship, that will help you discern over time, if you and the guy are a good fit for each other.
You’ll get to know if you want to spend the rest of your life with him and if he wants to spend the rest of his life with you because you’re learning who the real person is.
So if you’re wondering how to navigate the early stages of dating a guy, here are some key essential questions you can ask him to help you discern the direction of the relationship.
Questions to Ask in the Early Stages of Dating a Guy
These are questions that you as the girl in the relationship can be thinking. These are some good ones that you could be asking just naturally in conversation in the early stages of dating a guy, not somewhere down the road.
You could just bring it up and say, “Hey, I have a few questions.”
- Why do You Want to be in a Relationship with Me?
That might seem super basic, but that would be interesting to ask in the early stages of dating a guy.
Why do you want to be in a relationship with me? Then he might ask you the same question back, that’ll just give you a little bit of a deeper peek inside what he’s thinking.
- What Does Your Vision of a Happy Family Look Like?
You know we all come from different backgrounds, different family experiences, that one person’s vision of a happy family might be different from someone else’s.
That would be a good question to ask in the early stages of dating a guy and get that vision of what the future looks like.
Ask him what his vision of a happy family looks like?
- How Would You Maintain Purity in a Relationship?
This is just asking that deeper question of purity of morality, sexuality in a relationship. Just how would you maintain purity in a relationship? What does that look like to you? Is it important to you? Since it may not be and that would be something good for you to know upfront.
- What are Your Viewpoints on Politics?
That’s an interesting question to ask in the early stages of dating a guy, right? Since politics can be so controversial, and obviously is extremely controversial.
So in trying to find out what his views are and what your views are, you might discover that you’re landing on some very different pages. That might be hard to work through on the relationship.
Spiritual Questions to Ask Him
This is important if you’re religious and want to be sure you share the same views. For example, if you’re a Christian, you can ask:
- Can You Explain the Gospel to Me?
So just a question to get to know if he understands the gospel. If you’re a genuine Christ-follower, a genuine believer, then it’s probably very important to you that he would be a genuine Christ-follower as well.
So you need to be able to ask this question in the early stages of dating a guy.
Can you explain the gospel to me?
What does the gospel mean to you?
How do you see that being lived out?
That will help you see his perspective and where he stands on that?
- What is Your View on Church Involvement?
The local church is God’s structure for Christians to grow, thrive, and serve Him? What’s his view on that? Or how would you lead your family spiritually?
Keep in mind that when asking such questions, you’re not looking for perfect answers. You’re not looking for the right answer. You’re just looking to get to know their heart. What do they think about these things?
You’re creating dialogue. You’re trying to strike a conversation.
Questions to Ask Each Other in the Early Stages of Dating a Guy
Here are some questions to ask each other. These questions would be awesome to ask in the early stages of dating a guy, or maybe even a little further into the relationship..
You could ask each other these questions and get to know where you both stand on some of these things.
- What is your view on debt and finances?
- Another really good question to find out where you both stand now.
Questions to Ask Those Close to Him
You know, when you’re in a relationship, you’re in it, right? And it’s you and him. You can get so focused on the here and now and who this person right in front of you is.
Who you imagine them to be or who you know, if you’re infatuated, you might both not have a great perspective of who you are.
So it’s really good to step outside of that bubble of the two of you and go to people who know this guy, maybe grew up with him. Maybe his family, his close friends, mentors from his church, or people that just know him from work.
- Can You Tell Me Who He Is?
When you meet them, just say something like, “Hey, I’m getting to know this guy, we’re in a relationship. I was just wondering if there were some things I could ask you about him. I would love to get to know more about who he is.”
This could be very insightful. I know it has been for people who have done it.
- Is He a Man Worth Getting to Know?
Maybe it’s early in the relationship and you may want to go to someone in his church who knows him very well.
You could just ask, “Is he worth getting to know, from what you’ve seen of him and his character and his habits?”
“Who he is as a person?”
“Would you say he’s like a great option to get to know each other?”
“What red flags or cautions do I need to know about him?”
The answers you get to these questions could help you know some things you need to ask him.
- Can You See Both of Us Having a Successful Marriage?
So maybe a little bit further down the road, not necessarily in the early stages of dating a guy.
Maybe you can see this is going somewhere, but you don’t know if other people feel the same. So asking someone who knows, maybe both of you, if they could see both of you together, and you guys will make a great marriage is a good idea.
Questions You Need to Figure Out by Yourself
These are things that on your own, you just need to sit down and pray through, wrestle with and ask yourself and find answers
- Why do I like Him?
Just asking yourself that, truly and genuinely, why do I like this guy?
Why do I want to be in a relationship with him?
Are my motivations rooted in the right things? Or is it just rooted in my identity?
Is it just because you want to have a boyfriend or he’s cute, he makes me look good? I mean, you need to ask yourself and search your heart to know why you like him.
“Are we becoming stronger, spiritually growing, and maturing?”
“Or is he dragging me down?”
“Am I dragging him down?”
Try to evaluate if this is a good time for you in this phase of your life.
Your maturity level, in these circumstances you’re not yet where you want to be, is this a good time to be in a relationship?
Find Out About His Character
- What do His Priorities Reveal about His Character?
Sometimes, it can be hard to evaluate someone’s character, especially if they appear nice. Nonetheless, the way we can evaluate this is by looking. For everyone out there, they have priorities in their lives, certain character, and things that they most value.
The things that they invest their time in, cherish most, find most important, and the things they’re always talking about, will somehow give you a clue on what’s important to this guy. This will also give you some cues on his character.
- What do the People Closest to me Think About this Relationship?
That is such a key question to ask in the early stages of dating. I know it’s one question most women don’t often want to ask because they are thinking since they like this guy, they shouldn’t care what other people think.
However, the truth is when you’re in a relationship and in the early stages of dating a guy, as I said, you can be blinded by infatuation. You can often not see some of the most obvious things that may be problems that other people can because they’re on the outside.
So instead of pushing people away, I just want to encourage you to bring people in. Don’t isolate yourself, bring wisdom in, bring people in on the outside and invite their input.
Ask them questions, in the long run, you want to have a great long-term satisfying marriage, right? I mean, ultimately, isn’t that what we would all long for?
So the goal now in the relationship stage is to figure out, would we be a great fit for one another. So bring those people in. Ask them what they think about the relationship.
What Are Your Flaws?
- Ask Yourself What Cautions or Red Flags Do I Have?
Lastly, just be honest with yourself and ask yourself what cautions or red flags do I have? You need to ask yourself, do I have red flags? Do I have concerns that nobody else knows about? Then you need to take those, and I encourage you to go, to someone older and wiser.
Tell them you have these red flags and struggles that you haven’t told anyone. Then ask them if they can help you work through them.
They may or may not be a big deal, Maybe they’re not a big deal. But maybe they are? So those were some of the good questions to ask in the early stages of dating a guy.
But I hope this is just getting your wheels turning and helping you realize and think, okay, asking questions is good.
Thank you so much for reading this article. If you liked it, I would love it if you’d share it. If you want to read more articles like this from Dating Fountain, then you could just subscribe to my email list below because publish new articles regularly.
You can also check out this article from Mashable on how to set boundaries in the early stages of dating.