This post is about something very broad, but at the core of my dating advice, and that is dating with a purpose. If that is something that you’ve wondered about before and really want to understand, then ensure to read these 5 steps on how to date with purpose.
If you are like me, then you might have asked yourself before what is the difference between dating and courting? Well, both kind of explain the same thing, but have one simple difference, and that is one is intentional and the other one doesn’t have to be.
We all know that sometimes we just date people to pass time or to spend time together with someone that we like but do not really love, and we don’t know where it’s going. But courting is intentional. It means that you’re wooing the other person with the intent of marriage.
Before we proceed, If you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life, ensure to check out His Secret Obsession by James Bauer. It shows women how to tap into a powerful life-long desire all men share, and harness it to transform the way men experience them. It’s a great book and I highly recommend it.
5 Steps to Dating with a Purpose that Works
Dating with a purpose might not be a new topic to you. Either way, let me show you the five steps to dating with a purpose that works.
Serve a common purpose
The first step to dating with purpose is that you serve a common and preferably greater purpose. Believe it or not, each one of us has been sent to this earth for a unique purpose. That is something that you have to do in this life.
For you to date with purpose, you want to be sharing the same set of beliefs and values with someone that has a complementary or common purpose as you. What you want to do is to sit down with the partner and find out what is their unique individual purpose, and if it matches yours.
It’s not an easy discussion but at the same time, it’s so important because it will show you if both of you are a good match. You don’t want to find that two years into dating, that your partner is called to be a missionary overseas. While you were called to work here in a local coffee shop and spread the gospel while you’re at work.
While both things are great purposes, they won’t be a good match. So make sure that you find out what is your partner’s purpose, what is your purpose, and how can both of you complement and put it together so that you can live a life of purpose by starting to date with a purpose.
Develop and communicate your goals for the relationship
Goals are the number one ingredient to date with a purpose. You want to sit down with your partner and find out what are their goals for the relationship and discuss topics like purpose like I mentioned in number one above.
You have to discuss personal and spiritual growth, marriage, family, individuality, and everything in-between to find out how both of you can stir the relationship and what are milestones for each other in that relationship.
It’s a great way to find out if you’re compatible at all. And if they see the same thing as their future, and know if they are ready to commit. If they want marriage in their later future, and if they see it with you.
It’s the best way also to guard your heart and find out if this is a person you should be matching yourself with.
Lastly, it will make both of you accountable for these goals in the relationship. It’s a way to check in with each other and to say, “Hey, after three months, six months, nine months, where do we want to be in this relationship?”
If they are not ready, he can be prince charming or a beautiful princess, but guess what, this relationship isn’t going anywhere.
Developing and communicating your goals is the second step to dating with a purpose. It’s a good step to find out if your partner is ready to commit.
Be intentional with dating with a purpose
It perfectly fits after number two, which is your goal. It will allow you to be intentional to know what the check-in points are. You want to enjoy each other’s company but you also want to be intentional about progressing the relationship and making sure that you merge those lines. That you get to meet their family, you seek wise counsel with friends, family, or other people.
It’s a great way to find out if you’re on the same page when it comes to relationships. Do we agree on what makes a healthy relationship and what makes a toxic relationship? Do we know how to communicate with each other?
All of these steps are so important because they will help you merge your life, becoming a stronger union.
I suggest you use this time to observe your partner. What are their wants and needs? Understand their personality better and find out what their love languages are.
If you don’t know what love languages are, I suggest that you pick up Gary Chapman’s “The Five Love Languages.” It’s a great book, it will help you understand the other person better and how they give love or how they want to get love. Also, it will improve every relationship in your life, with friends, family, and with your significant other.
So make sure when you date with a purpose and that you’re intentional about everything that you do.
Setting boundaries for dating with a purpose
Dating boundaries are the best way to guard your heart. They will help you to pace yourself in investing financially, physically, or emotionally into the relationship. As well as help you not just to guard your heart, but also your mind.
I know a lot of people have a hard time setting boundaries. That is because they’re so scared that their partner will leave when they do. However, I can assure you 100% that the right person will not leave just because of set boundaries.
They will respect you and it will have the opposite effect. It will trigger their desire to pursue you and give them a sense of urgency because they understand that you value yourself. And that’s why you’re doing this.
Guarding your heart is the best way to protect yourself from heartbreak. And also, discerning if the person is the right one for you, and is in it for the right reason.
So setting boundaries, as I said, it’s the fourth and very important way to date with a purpose.
Put yourself first
You need to use this time to understand your value and find out how to enforce and communicate your standards. While you’re dating with purpose, it’s the best time to teach your partner how you want to be treated. It’s also a time to let them know what you will and will not accept in a relationship.
Only if you truly know yourself and understand your value will you be able to teach your partner how to treat you. Then you can become an equal partner in the relationship and later on in the marriage.
Please remember that even though you’re dating with purpose, it does not mean that you are already married. So until you tie the knot, you have to put yourself first and look out for yourself.
As you can see, these five steps on how to date with purpose are not hard to follow and they’re very simple, to be honest.
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