This post is about surviving the uncertainty stage of dating. Before we proceed, one thing you must know is that this stage of dating is quite predictable. So don’t be confused if you find yourself in this situation because uncertainty doesn’t mean that the person is not the right one for you.
Both men and women feel uncertain at some point in their relationships, so you’re not alone.
So you’ve been seeing someone for a few weeks now and then you suddenly realize that the person has developed a different behavior. You’re receiving fewer text messages and maybe the plans look vague.
Of course, you will begin to worry. You will be wondering if they’re still interested in you or probably they just need some space. What are you going to do when you find yourself in this uncomfortable situation?
The second stage of dating, known as the uncertainty stage, is the period to focus on a person and the opportunities that might lie ahead. The main goal of this stage of dating is about determining if you would like to have an exclusive relationship with your new companion. If the answer is yes and mutual, move on to the third stage called exclusivity. Otherwise, the relationship may come to an end.
Of course, it takes time to decide whether the person we’re with is the right one. We’re not talking about the person being right for you forever but only “right for you at the moment”. This is because later in the relationship, you might wonder whether it is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.
Regrettably, many singles do not see this as a step that is necessary and mistakenly assumes that if they are not certain, then the person is not the right one. They don’t know that they are sabotaging the potential of having a good relationship before it even begins.
Cause of the uncertainty in dating
Before we talk about the tips for surviving the uncertainty stage of dating, we must have a perfect understanding of the anxiety of uncertainty. Why does exclusive dating so often leave us lost? There’s a clear answer for this: lots of chips on the table and the odds of winning are blind.
The risk involved in dating is never greater than sharing vulnerable, intimate, and fragile parts of us – in an appropriate and timely manner – without the assurance that it will lead to marriage. We bet part of our hearts and don’t know how they will react. This can be a terrifying experience.
Tips for surviving the uncertainty stage of dating
With that said, here are five tips to help you cope with uncertainty instead of being dominated by them:
1. Admit that it sucks
Like most people, you may think that you are well equipped to deal with the uncertainty of a relationship. You can think of yourself as someone cool with just spending time out and doesn’t have to define a relationship. But in fact, you can easily get caught in a whirlwind when interaction pattern changes.
Half of the battle is knowing about yourself. The truth is that you have to admit that the uncertainty stage of relationships sucks, and you have to accept the fact and deal with it squarely.
2. Your feelings are very important, take care of them
Embrace the ignorance and the lack of control. See this as something you want to make room for rather than something you want to do away with.
When you experience an uncomfortable situation, observe the part of your body that felt it, as well as the uncomfortable feelings and the difficult thoughts that may erupt in your mind.
Allow them to wax and wane naturally. Watch your process and actively notice when your discomfort subsides and ask your nervous system to register it. This mindfulness practice improves your ability to deal with any difficult situation. Therefore, it’s a great tip for surviving the uncertainty stage of dating.
3. Distract yourself
From time to time you may feel too overwhelmed by your discomfort without any respite on sight. Often, indulging yourself in a positive, rejuvenating, or uplifting activity can lead you through a difficult time. Such as trying so hard not to text someone or having a moment of intense self-doubt.
Engaging in something creative, any form of exercise, or something basic can be a great distraction and allow you to positively alter your emotional state.
4. Ask for assistance
You don’t need to worry about this issue alone. A lot of people find it helpful to reach out to a professional or friends that can offer support during their emotionally trying moments.
Speaking to someone can help reduce your discomfort and, therefore, the intensity of your urge to make detrimental decisions too. This is a tip for surviving the uncertainty stage of dating.
5. Don’t trust your validations
You will notice the voice in your head trying to convince you to give up your efforts and go on to a less optimal, but more convenient plan when you try to put up with your feelings.
Be skeptical of these feelings because you can easily convince yourself that this voice is a reasonable voice when it is not. Before taking any action, make sure you check your logic with an objective person first.
Remember, as with most growth experiences, learning to tolerate emotional discomfort becomes easier as you practice them.
You will notice yourself becoming additionally inventive during the difficult periods in your relationships when you develop a greater ability to manage your emotions. And with such great resilience, you will be more open to life – becoming a different person in the world generally.
In this post, we discuss 5 steps to help singles date with a purpose. Endeavor to check it out if you want a meaningful, serious relationship.