In this post, I’m going to be talking about 7 tips for men to have a great first date.
Regardless of what the outcome of the date might be, you’re not going to leave the date thinking I could have done this better, or I should have done this. Instead, if you follow these 7 tips, you will have a great first date.
Following these 7 tips will set you up for success and ensure that you have the best first date possible.
With that being said, let’s go ahead and jump into it.
Tip #1 is to dress well.
I’m not saying dress like someone you’re not or dress like what you think she would want you to look like. Let’s say you have a second date, and you bought an outfit for the first date and you don’t have any more clothes. She’s going to catch on to the fact that, maybe on the first date, you dress a little bit to impress her, and that is not your actual style.
So dress like yourself. When I say dress well, I don’t mean dress like someone that you’re not, but just dress like the best version of yourself.
This will also depend on the type of scenario that you’re in for your date. If you’re going for brunch on the weekend, and it’s very casual, you’d want to dress in something like jeans and sneakers and a nice shirt. Just looking a little bit more casual to fit the setting that you’re going to be in.
I’ll not get super specific about what to wear. I think that’s very specific and a little bit too zoned in. Just generally dress for the setting that you’re going to be in.
So don’t come wearing a full-fledged suit unless for some reason you are famous and rich, or maybe you’re going to a gala and taking her there for the first date, which I really wouldn’t recommend in the first place.
Just make sure you’re dressing for the occasion. Like I said, dress like the best version of yourself. You should look like you spent a little time getting ready, you don’t want to look like you rolled out of bed.
If as a girl, I showed up to the first date, and the guy shows up in his V-neck, and he looks like he was out partying all night, and maybe has the worst hangover of his life, it’s going to be an initial turnoff.
As much as I hate to say it, a lot of girls are that way. I’m not saying that looks are everything, but first impressions are very important. So you’d want to make a good one.
Tip #2 is to pick the perfect place.
This is going to differ depending on where you live, what season it might be. If you’re in California where it’s sunny and beautiful all year, you’ll probably have more options than someone that lives in Cleveland, where it’s cold seven months of the year. There’s not that much fun stuff to do in the wintertime. So keep that in mind as well.
You’d want to pick somewhere you can to get to know them to an extent. You don’t want to get to know them too much on the first date. As silly as that might sound, I don’t recommend bringing her to your place on the first day. I think going somewhere public, where you can be in a public setting, but get to know each other a little bit more one-on-one is very important.
Like I said about bringing someone to your personal space on the first date. This is just so that you don’t show all your cards on the first date. You want to leave a little room for imagination, a little room for mystery. You don’t want to show everything you have to offer on the first date.
That is something that may come after a few dates after you get to know the person and you’ve decided if you like them or not. But for the first date, you’d want to pick somewhere public. Like I said, where you can get to know each other a little bit better.
Another thing I want to point out is that I don’t think a very fancy dinner date is a good first date because if you don’t even know if you like this girl or not, why do you want to spend tons of money on her, and also a fancy dinner? It is not a great first date because you kind of lock yourself into this very nice, long drawn out formal meal.
You get like 20 minutes into this date, and you know that you do not like this girl, you are stuck there in a four-course meal with a girl that you don’t like, and you’d have to pay for her. So keep that in mind.
That’s why I would never recommend a super nice place for a first date.
Go somewhere casual, go somewhere fun. You want to get to know the person a little bit more here. Don’t show your cards. Don’t show that you have tons of money because you’re going to attract the wrong type of girl that way.
You’d want to be able to have a conversational element on your first date. You don’t want to go somewhere the talking is limited. Like maybe a movie, which I think is seriously the worst place to take someone for a first date if you’ve never met them before.
However, if you’re friends and you’ve been friends for a while, and maybe you’re just starting to have a romantic interest in them, and you take them on a date to a movie that’s not the end of the world.
On the other hand, if you meet a girl online and take her to the movies for the very first time you meet her, you’re both going to be sitting there in the dark, very awkwardly sharing popcorn. I guess she is going to be so awkward and so uncomfortable.
Worse of all, you may not get to know them at all because you’d be sitting in silence in a movie for two hours.
So like I said, somewhere public, somewhere fun, where you can get to know them a little bit is always very important.
Tip #3 is a conversation.
I would argue that conversation is the most important part of a first date. On your first date, you should get to know a little bit more about who this girl is, what she’s into, etc. You should be curious and ask her questions, and she should be doing the same for you.
If she is not giving you anything in return, and she doesn’t seem like she wants to get to know you at all, then maybe that should be a sign to you that maybe she just isn’t into you. Even if that happens, it’s totally fine. Not every girl you go on a date with will be into you and vice versa. That’s totally okay!
For instance, you met this girl online, and you’ve crept on her Instagram, and you know things about her that maybe you shouldn’t at this point. I don’t know if guys do that. But girls do that.
Don’t ask her questions that you think she would want to answer or that would make her like you more. You should be candid in this. Do not pre-prepare your questions, or seem like a robot. You’d want to go with the flow.
Ask her about different things. Notice the things that she’s into and the things that she lights up when she talks about and stick to those things. Maybe see if you can bounce off of those and flow with the conversation and see if the things that she lights up about are things that you guys both have in common.
A very important point about the whole conversation element is don’t sit there and talk about yourself the entire time. It’s really awkward and just very unenjoyable for the other party if the person that you’re with is sitting there talking about themselves the whole time and not asking you anything in return.
That is just as frustrating for a guy. If you’re the one that’s asking all the questions, and she’s not giving you anything in return. It’s just not great, and it’s kind of a turn-off.
So don’t be that guy that sits there and talks about himself the entire date. Show curiosity in her if you’re interested. If you’re not well, you don’t want to take her on a second date.
At the end of your conversation on your first date, you should evaluate – do I want to get to know this girl more? Do I think we’re compatible at all? Is it even worth me going on a second date with her?
These are all the things you’d want to think about after that first date, which is why it’s so important to have a nice conversation and to be in a place where you can do that.
Tip #4 is knowing when to stop the date or knowing when to continue.
This is another reason why it’s so important to pick a public place that has a definite end. For example, maybe you take her out to brunch, and the end of that part of the date is when the bill is paid, and you guys are done eating.
Maybe you’ve sat there and talked for a little bit at that point, you need to decide, do I want to continue my date with this girl or am I not really feeling it, and we should just end it here.
Probably you’re feeling like you’re ready to go, or you’re getting vibes from her that she’s ready to go, or you’re not feeling it. At that point, I would just call it quits.
Obviously, be polite, say that you had a nice time, and say your goodbyes.
However, if you feel like you’re both having a great time, and there is still more fun to be had, then be spontaneous and ask her to join you on something that maybe you were planning on doing next, or later in the day.
Knowing when to stop or when to continue your date is very important. It could lead you to a full day with someone that you end up being with for two years, you never know.
Tip #5 is to pay the bill on the first date.
Most girls like it when the guy pays on the first date. I think it’s attractive. You can decide to split after that or take turns paying, which is fine. Nevertheless, on the first date, take initiative and pay the bill.
It’s awkward sometimes when you’re thinking about when the bill is going to come and they put it on the table and you don’t know who will reach for it first. So just take the initiative and grab for it.
The girl would like that, I promise. So if you guys end up parting ways after this first date, you know that you don’t want to see her again, don’t tell her that you want to see her again. You don’t need to lie. You don’t need to be mean and tell her that she was the worst person ever and you had a horrible date.
Try to be polite and don’t tell her that you want to see her again if you don’t.
Tip #6 is to be clear about the next steps.
As I said, be honest, if you don’t want to see her again, maybe she’s really into you and you’re just not feeling her at all. Don’t get her hopes up, making her think she’s going to see you again.
If you’re someone that is just a one-night stand type of guy, and you’re hanging out with just a one-night stand type of girl, this probably does not apply to you.
But if you’re someone that’s looking for something serious, and you know that the girl is too, and you’ve made that clear from the beginning, then I think it’s very important to just be very clear, and very honest about expectations and how you’re feeling.
When your date comes to an end, you don’t have to tell her right away, like, when can I see you again? You honestly don’t want to seem too eager or too available. Try to give it some thought, think about maybe where you’d want to take her next. You don’t need to jump on something so quickly. Don’t tell her what you think she wants to hear.
Again, don’t say anything yet. Just go home, think about it, sleep on it, and see where you end up.
Tip #7 is to not make yourself seem so available.
I think a lot of times it’s a turnoff for girls if you’re super available and ready to see them 24/7. While this might seem great in the beginning, there comes a point when this ends, and you’ll not always be available to spend 24/7 with them. You don’t want to set unrealistic expectations in the very beginning.
Now I’m going to talk about something that everyone dreads, which is the after date text. This is something that most girls talk to their friends about like, should I text him and tell him that I had a good time? Should I wait for him to text me?
It’s like this big ordeal that doesn’t need to be a big ordeal at all.
But if you’re a guy and you had a great time with this girl, text her when you get home and tell her that you had a great time, it was great meeting her, or something along those lines.
As I said, you don’t need to rush and make a next plan to see her again yet, but just let her know that you had a good time. So she isn’t sitting there freaking out with her friends, wondering if she should wait for you to text her or what her next move should be.
Also, it’s just really attractive when a guy is confident and bold, and let you know that he had a good time and he liked spending the day with you. If you can text a girl after the date and tell her that you had a great time, it just comes across that you’re confident and girls are going to like that.
I know this is contrary to popular belief. Maybe some girls are into this whole game thing where you act uninterested in her.
But if you are trying to attract a nice girl that you’d want to take them to your mom and maybe want to have a relationship with, text her and tell her that you had a good time.
If she responds with similar energy to your text, you can tell that she feels the same way and she had a great time too.
Now I think it’s okay to maybe ask her out again. As I said, you don’t want to seem super available like you could hang out with her 24/7. I think this just set unrealistic expectations later down the road.
You could say something like “hey, I had a great time with you today. I don’t know what the rest of your week looks like but I would love to see you again.”
Something like that. So you’d want to take it slow but show your interest. That’s how you’ll land a second date with her and see where it goes.
That concludes my list of 7 tips to have a great first date. I hope that you all found this helpful. If you did, be sure to share.
Let me know in the comments below what you think I would love to hear. If you think I missed anything, or I was wrong about anything, or if you agree with me.
You could also share some of your first date experiences. Those are always fun to hear about and I think we can all learn a lot from each other about mistakes may be that you’ve made or mistakes that the person you are with made. Honestly, it’s just entertaining to hear other people’s stories. So leave those in the comments below.