If you’re dating a man who is not ready to commit, in this article, you will learn exactly how to make him commit without pressure. I’ll be sharing 5 Powerful Steps to get your man to commit to you now.
If you’re frustrated because you’re dating a man who says he doesn’t want a relationship or wants to keep things casual, then this post is for you. We’re going to reveal how to get him to commit.
This blog is all about helping you build great relationships so you can grow happy with the people you love.
If you’re interested in making your love life the best part of your life, ensure to check out His Secret Obsession by James Bauer. It shows women how to tap into a powerful life-long desire all men share, and harness it to transform the way men experience them. It’s a great book and I highly recommend it.
So let’s get started on how to get him to commit to you
Let me set the scene for you. You have been dating a guy for some time. Maybe a few months, and things seem to be going really well. You see each other often and are getting to know one another. Things are great!
As far as you’re concerned, you’re feeling like this is the beginning of a committed relationship. After all, you’re acting like a couple. You’ve been spending days and nights together. Sleeping over each other’s houses, and you haven’t been dating anyone else.
Again, maybe it’s been 2 or 3 months. Inevitably, the conversation of “what are we or where’s this going comes up.”
And that’s when he drops the bomb on you. He says to you that he does not want anything serious.
He tells you that he’s not ready for a relationship right now. However, he does want to continue dating and seeing you but doesn’t want a commitment – anything serious.
This is shocking and it leaves you devastated because it now feels like you’re a couple and that’s what you want.
Suddenly, something you thought was going so well becomes a difficult situation because you’re not sure if you should give up on him. Or if you should give him more time to get to know you and see what happens.
Are you wasting your time?
Is he ultimately going to leave you for someone else?
So what do you do?
5 Powerful Steps That Work
Well, don’t worry. If you can follow these steps, you’ll have him begging for a relationship very soon.
Are you moving too fast?
A major problem in relationships nowadays is that couples get to know each other’s bodies and sexual preferences even before they get to know each other emotionally. They engage in acts of physical intimacy and behave in ways that were traditionally reserved for married couples. I’m not judging…
Obviously, such acts make you feel more connected and closer. It makes you feel like you’re a couple in a relationship, even though you’ve only known each other for a short time.
So ask yourself these questions:
Are your expectations reasonable?
Are you moving too fast?
Do you really know each other well enough to be in a serious relationship?
For example, couples become physically intimate very quickly. Sometimes, within a few days or a few weeks.
However, expecting that a man will be in a committed relationship because you’ve already been physically intimate is unlikely. Instead, maybe you should slow down and give yourself a timeline. Perhaps, he just needs a little more time to be sure.
So give him some time, not forever, but decide on a timeframe and give him that time. And of course, you’re not going to tell him that you’re giving him a timeline. No! You give yourself a personal timeframe, and keep it to yourself.
Doing so accomplishes several things.
First, it shows him that you respect his decision-making process. It also shows him that he is worth the wait. Furthermore, it allows him to develop a deeper connection with you. That might be exactly what he needs.
So give yourself a timeframe of 6 weeks or maybe 2 months. In the meantime, you’re going to be doing all of these tips. Alternatively, if you’ve already been together for 6 months, you still need to give yourself a timeline and an opportunity for these tips to work. Perhaps, it’s only 2 – 4 weeks in that case.
So that’s the first step on how to make him commit without pressure.
Stop thinking about and talking about commitment for now
During the timeline you have established, you have to stop thinking and talking about commitment. You’ve already had the discussion and you’ve discovered you’re on different pages of the book. So continuing to talk about it or trying to convince him will only make things worse.
That’s because the more you talk about it, the more pressure he will feel. That’s not a good thing. He knows what you want. So every time you bring it up, he will pull further away from you.
So if you really want this guy to finally commit to being in an exclusive relationship, you need to stop bringing up anything to do with the future or with the relationship altogether.
Since you’ve decided on a timeframe, you can stop worrying about it for now and give yourself a break from all of that frustration. Be present and enjoy the moment.
After all, constantly worrying about why he doesn’t want a relationship is an uncomfortable and insecure position to be in. Feeling insecure about the relationship becomes obvious and it affects all of your interactions with him. It becomes very unattractive and you lose value in his eyes.
So again, give yourself a break and tell yourself that you will talk about this again, or deal with this again after you’re established timeframe.
Do not ignore this second tip on how to get him to commit, it’s very important.
Stop giving him everything he wants
If you’re really serious about your quest for how to make him commit without pressure, then you need to get serious about certain things.
When a man has everything he wants, what is his incentive to try harder? What is the incentive to change?
I mean, if you’re acting like boyfriend and girlfriend and hanging out together, and he’s happy, why would he change anything?
He’s getting all of his needs met; his needs for companionship, attention, friendship, intimacy, and sex. He’s getting all of his needs met. So he’s not going to change just to be nice.
If that’s not bad enough, when he says he doesn’t want a relationship right now, many women try harder to be more thoughtful and more loving. They try to be the perfect girlfriend, hoping that he will fall deeply in love, and then he will certainly want a committed relationship. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.
Remember, he’s happy. He’s satisfied just the way things are. Why change when he doesn’t have to?
A lot of women searching for “how to get him to commit” don’t know how to set boundaries. You need to set some boundaries for yourself, for him, and the relationship.
That means you have to start saying “NO” to him.
You’re going to have to disappoint him.
You need to set expectations for him and ensure he meets them.
Don’t be his last-minute booty call. You can’t just continue to meet him for Netflix and chill.
If you’re really interested in knowing how to make him commit without pressure, then do this.
You have to let him know your expectations. Let him know that if he wants to see you, he has to make plans with you and take you on a proper date.
So when he offers you scraps, you have to turn him down.
For example, he calls you last minute on a Saturday or Sunday evening and wants to come over. He says that he misses you and he wants to see you. Well, you’ll have to tell him that you miss him too. You’d like to see him too. So if he wants to plan a proper date, you’d love to see him, but at the moment you’re not available.
When you tell him “No”, don’t be surprised when he will attempt the same thing the next day. So you’ve got to be prepared to tell him “No” several times.
Do you want to know how to get him to commit? Then you have to learn to do this.
I have to stress this point because I know it’s not easy to say “No” since you miss him and you worry about disappointing him or that he will move on. Nonetheless, you have to believe me on this one. You have to say “No” to being an afterthought. You must say “No” to last-minute come over tight plans.
Those are relationship benefits, not casual dating benefits. So don’t hesitate to feel bad about saying “No”. Trust me, it raises your value.
You’re simply asking him to treat you with respect and plan a date. If he gets angry and breaks up with you, consider yourself lucky because he was only using you.
So that’s it on step 3 on how to make him commit without pressure.
Keep your options open
I know you don’t want to date anyone else, right? You have no interest in dating multiple men. Okay, but take note of this. So want to know how to get him to commit to you because you really like him. You see potential and you have a great time together. It feels like you’re already a couple.
So why is it so easy for him to tell you that he doesn’t want commitment?
Why is it easy for him to tell you that he doesn’t want anything serious?
Well, one of the biggest reasons is he’s not worried that you’re going anywhere. He’s not worried about any other man winning your heart, and that’s huge.
Nevertheless, you want to know how to make him commit without pressure since you love him, right? Then continue reading.
One of the biggest reasons why people get into committed relationships is because they’re worried that their partner is going to meet someone else who will replace them.
It’s because of fear. Therefore, they want you to get into a committed relationship so that you’re off the market.
Now, why isn’t your man worried about taking you off the market? Well, it’s because you have convinced him that you only want him. So he doesn’t worry that you’re going anywhere.
Many of you are probably saying, “Yeah, I’m not interested in dating anyone else.” I understand. I hear you and so does he. Consequently, he can comfortably tell you that he doesn’t want a relationship at this time.
He can tell you that he doesn’t want to commit because he has no fear that you’re going anywhere. No fear that he’s going to lose you to another man. He knows how you feel, what you’re up to, and he has nothing to worry about.
So let me ask you again, if he knows he’s not going to lose you to another man, and that you’re not interested or willing to date anyone else. He’s getting all his needs met, why would he change?
Why would he try harder?
Why would he change anything?
He has everything he wants, and he’s happy.
Until your guy finally realizes that you’re the woman for him, force yourself to keep dating other men. Keep your options open. Even if you’re not particularly interested in these other guys. I mean, don’t be obnoxious or disrespect him about it. You don’t want to be accused of trying to purposefully make him jealous.
Instead, keep your social calendar full of dates with others. You’ll be less worried about what your guy’s doing. Then he will notice that you’re not as available as you once were.
This will add just the right amount of anxiety to get him to take action. If and when he asks you about it, tell him that you keep your options open.
I know many of you are saying “No way! He will leave me for sure. He won’t accept that.” Well, I have two things to say about that.
First, this is what he wanted. He’s the one who didn’t want a commitment.
Secondly, if he leaves you because you were doing what he wanted, then again, consider yourself lucky. He never wanted a serious relationship with you. He was just using you.
That’s my fourth tip on how to make him commit without pressure.
Have the talk after your timeframe
As mentioned in the first step on how to get him to commit, if this is a new relationship, perhaps he needs some time to decide on wanting a relationship.
So if you’ve been doing the last four steps on how to make him commit without pressure. He’s very likely to bring up the commitment talk himself, especially if you’re as compatible as you think you are.
However, if he doesn’t bring it up himself, at some point, after your timeframe has passed, you need to initiate the conversation.
When you do, and he tells you again that he isn’t ready for a relationship. This is what you need to say:
- Let him know you understand that he is unsure or maybe confused.
- Also, that like you, he deserves to be in the best and happiest relationship for him.
- Let him know that it is super important to you, and then let him know of a solution that might help him.
- That is, he needs to take some time and be alone so he can figure it out.
Yes, you’re the one to suggest to him that he needs some time away to figure it out. Again, everyone deserves to be happy and to be with the person they’re 100% sure of and committed to.
When you tell him that in the nicest, most sincere way possible, you’re letting him know that you want him to be happy, and you want him to figure it out. Also, you’re telling him that this situation doesn’t meet your needs because you desire someone who is all in.
So in the meantime, you’ll continue to date because you want a relationship. When he figures it out, maybe you’ll still be available. Perhaps, in a relationship or married.
When you handle the conversation in this manner, you’re conveying the following messages to him:
- You’re letting him know that you care about his well-being and want the best for him. Even if that doesn’t include you.
- You’re also telling him that you are not willing to tolerate or accept anything less than 100% from a person.
- This sends a message to him that you deserve more, you’re showing yourself love and won’t accept less than you deserve.
- Finally, you’re proving to him that you’re confident you’ll find what you’re looking for.
Despite being disappointed, you know that this is the right thing to do.
Now, if he cares about you, and really has feelings for you, this conversation is going to be a game-changer. Maybe not immediately, but certainly within a few days to a week.
However, he has to know that you’re serious and not just bluffing. So once you’ve had this conversation, it’s now time for him to take action. That means that you cannot continue to date him and see each other.
If you continue to see him, you’re letting him know that it’s okay to continue casually dating and you’re letting him know that he doesn’t have to make any type of decision.
This lowers your value and shows that you care about his feelings may be more than your own. So don’t do it. Don’t fool yourself into believing that you can wait it out and that things will work out.
If you’ve been asking how to get him to commit, now you know how to make him commit without pressure. So if you continue dating casually without a commitment, you’ll sabotage any possibility of a relationship with him.
I hope these tips on how to make him commit without pressure / how to get him to commit help someone out there.
Also, check out this post on surviving the uncertainty stage of dating.
Let us know in the comment section below what you think about these tips on how to make him commit without pressure / how to get him to commit.