So there’s an old saying that “men find love through sex and women give sex to find love.” And that’s partially true in their 20s when men are driven by testosterone, they are driven by dopamine and oxytocin and all those things. Since they are driven by sex, they hope to find love that way.
However, the sad reality is, and this is true as men age, as they become older, they are riddled with oftentimes their childhood wounds that go unresolved or their adult traumas. Again, take note of this for emphasis “their childhood wounds or adult traumas that go unresolved.”
So if people haven’t done the emotional work to be ready for a loving relationship, they oftentimes choose egoic love. For example, men find love through sex because men who have done the inner work are emotionally healthy. After all, you don’t have to have done inner work to be that way. But emotionally healthy men fall in love a different way.
From people that have like I said, either done emotional growth work or personal development work, self-help work, and spiritual work, are the emotionally healthy people.
Men fall in love one particular way and that is through the doing of activities. When a couple is doing shared activities, hobbies, mutual interests, and spending time with family and friends, they’re building the roots for a deeper connection that causes us to fall in love.
This is because when roots have been developed in these primary areas and including intimacy and sex, we lean into a deeper level of loving. That’s how relationships shift from a casual relationship to a partnership relationship. That is when these roots have been developed and established.
I know a lot of ladies expect men to lead the dating process and I can tell you’re giving the job to the wrong people because men are terrible at leading the relationship process. And ladies, when you are prepared for this, you can guide the relationship the way you want it to go because women tend to be the stronger containers of a relationship than men.
I’m not saying men are incapable, and certainly, there are plenty of men that are very established and know what they want but be careful of some of those men because they can be controlling men. Ultimately, after midlife, there are a lot of wounded people out there that have no clue what they want.
This is why I wrote this piece to help you get to know what you want because the man who’s also an emotional grownup wants to be in a healthy, happy relationship and I’m just giving you some insight on how he falls in love. It is through social activities, hobbies, mutual interest, spending time with family and friends, and certainly sex and intimacy is an important part of the equation.
I hope that gives you a little insight on how men fall in love but I hope it’s giving you greater insight on how to choose a good partner by learning how to become a good partner yourself.
I hope you found value in this post. Please post a comment below if this resonated with you.
